“Grandma, does dead really mean Daddy’s never coming back?”
“That’s right, sweet heart. He’s up in heaven with Grandma Joan – your mommy’s mother - who never got to meet you.
“Are you and grandpa going to die soon too, Grandma?”
“No, darling. Grandpa and I are very healthy. What happened to your daddy happens sometimes. His heart wasn’t healthy… that’s why he died. He’s so happy where he is up in heaven watching over you, your brother, sister, and mommy. We miss him… but he’s in a place where he can cheer for you in all that you do in your life. What he can't do is be here to hold you and hug you, or play ball with you, or read to you anymore. Mommy and Grandpa and I are here to hug you and hold you tight and take care of you. We will always make sure that you are well taken care of. You are safe and we love you and your brother and sister so much, we’ll make sure you stay safe.”
“Hey, Max… Do you remember how your sister found that little silver cross right after her gymnastics meet on Sunday? And how she put it up on her dresser with her medals because she was sure it was your daddy’s way of showing her he was proud of her? Well, we can be on the look-out for signs from your daddy too… it might be the comfort of a cool breeze on a hot day or a butterfly or humming bird coming close… anything you think might be your dad coming to comfort you or just his way of saying, ‘Hi I’m thinking about you and I love you,’ just might really be his spirit essence.”
“How do we know?”
“Well… we can’t know for sure, Max. Death is such a mysterious thing and not a lot of people talk about it. But we can make it up as we go along… comfort is comfort. I’m so glad you and I are talking about it now… and I hope we can talk about it anytime you have questions or want to talk about your daddy… or about anything really. Your daddy was my younger son and I’m always going to think of him as my baby. It’s hard to think I’ll never see him again. I know it’s hard for you too thinking you’ll never see him again. This is the sad part about death. We really miss the people we love so much that it hurts awfully bad some days. Yesterday when I woke up my tummy hurt…”
“Me too, Grandma! Mommy wanted me to eat breakfast with her and Al and Ellie but my tummy hurt too bad to eat so she just gave me extra toast in my lunch. I ate it at recess when I felt better.”
“How smart of you to listen to your body that way, darlin’. Your body knows what’s right. I wish I’d have listened to my body yesterday and NOT eaten breakfast until my tummy felt better. I’m glad you listened, Max! I’ll try to remember that one. I think we’re going to find a “new normal” together. Everything is going to feel topsy turvy for a while… but over time I know we’ll get used to it.”
“I love you grandma.”
“And I love you, Max.”
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