Days of "D" Light

It’s taking the final wash off the clothes-line, folding, and putting it away that tells me I’ve arrived back home. That, and shaking out my purse to remove the cracker crumbs and playground sand that are part of the territory while caring for an active, creative, growing and hungry four year old granddaughter for a couple of weeks. I was more than a bit wistful turning the bag upside down this morning, and I smiled with pleasure - remembering where we’d been during the time her mama was in training 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. for nine days. She’s resuming teaching second grade at the private school where she taught several years ago. Little Miss D will attend the pre-school on the same campus! That’s an offer they can’t refuse!

Mama has thought of several things we may enjoy doing in her absence. There’s a long list. She’s also included coupons for entrance into some of the local museums, amusement parks, and Oakland Zoo, her library card and the hair-cutter's card that tracks each cut, so  you get a free one after ten at regular price.

D and I enjoy putting an “X” by each item on the list that we’ve accomplished.

Day One: Tuesday

D has no interest in going ANYwhere, so we stay IN the house and yard today to get reacquainted and accustomed to one another’s rhythms and just BE with the big change of not having mom from 6 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Stories I tell her include one that’s a work in progress about “Miss D and the Black Berry Wind,” and many repetitions of her favorite poems: “Wynken and Blynken and Nod,” “The Owl and the Pussycat,” and “How Do You Like to Go Up In a Swing?,” while we form clay into a “flower fairy” who may be the character responsible for that magical black berry wind blowing us about in the first story... we’ll see how that one comes out.

Day Two: Wednesday

Children’s Fairyland, in Oakland’s Lake Merit district, is one of Miss D’s favorite places. We celebrated her birthday there in June, and mom and dad each have a “life-time-membership” card surgically implanted in their forearms, (joke) which allows entrance any day. D and I spend about four hours there - climbing on structures, riding trains and carousels - and we love every minute... from seeing three friends of hers - quite by chance, and meeting new friends, to camping out in the Alice In Wonderland Library to read several delightful books as late afternoon turns to early evening. We talk about all the different parenting styles we see during our day. I remember, but don’t mention what my husband calls “The Five-O’Clock-Disneyland Slap.” That’s the sound you hear throughout the famed and expensive amusement park every afternoon about five p.m. -when mom & dad’s patience has run out, and the realization hits that so has the bank account, and “junior” still wants MORE, MORE, and still MORE, and is getting increasingly vocal and obnoxious about the wants, while all family members are tired, hungry, and over-stimulated. Communication between D and me is clear and a treasure to guard. I will not take these things for granted. We get to see the marionette show of “A Mid-Summer Night’s Dream.” Hokey Dokey Donkey and Puck are priceless.

Day Three: Thursday

After retrieving Miss D from her dad’s house, I drive us to the top of a hill where I picked black berries three years ago. This is the right time of year for them to be ripe again. We find scant few. A kindly octogenarian, who lives across the street from the berry bushes, sees my “Camp Ronald McDonald” license frame, and says, “MY name is Ronald McDonald!” He tells us of the recent “hack-back” someone performed on the once glorious stand of black berries. He tells us his plum trees are prolific this season, and offers us a giant tub from which to pick out several to take home. With that generous offer and a tour of his urban mini-farm, we smile all the way home - despite finding only a handful of edible black berries. 

In the afternoon, we make brownies which we think are for her friends and their mama, who are coming for dinner, but which D’s mom thinks are for the Story-Slam (story-telling party) on Saturday night! Mom is surprised when she gets home and sees the brownies being gobbled by appreciative eaters! D and I feel a little like Amelia Bedelia who does everything on the list... but maybe not the way the list-maker intended the task to be done! (I make another batch for the Saturday night gig before leaving early Saturday morning for Sonoma to visit my high school buddy where she’s recently moved for a job.)  I hear that Mama and D have a good snuggle-filled day.

Days Four, Five and Six:

A flurry of activity - including Gymnastics Camp on Friday, school-clothes buying spree at Thrift Town for all three of us on Sunday, park play-dates with friends, library, grocery shopping, hair-cut, lunch at Play Cafe, one breakfast in bed, one breakfast out in Berkeley, and visits with Gran’Pun who drove up to spend a few days. We look at two open houses and dream about possible living situations closer to D than 400 miles away. 

Auntie Sid comes up from SLO for an all girls slumber party. After saying ‘Bye 'Bye to Gran’Pun, we set out to meet Mama at a big mall for dinner. There are new friends to make and a lot of energy to burn at the kid-space indoor playground. Auntie Sid and I visit while marveling at D’s leadership skills. Within the space of ten minutes, she has made friends with two girls her age and has them emulating her - following an imaginary map to some imaginary treasure. 

Final Day: Another Friday:

We drive the distance to the new school to see the campus and both new classrooms - D’s and Mama’s. This is D’s second visit to the school. We eat lunch at Orientation. D’s dad meets us there - to hear about holidays, snacks, uniforms, and pick-up & drop-off procedures for the coming year.

D, her mama and I bring salad, a third batch of brownies and some yummy raspberries to a pot-luck dinner where mom gets to relax and celebrate having got through one of the toughest nine days in memory. It’s HARD to be separated from one you love so much for soooo many hours for so many days on end!

Saturday morning, my last day in Oakland this trip, finds younger mom and daughter refreshed after TEN hours of un-interrupted and well-deserved sleep!

I have an uneventful and sing-songy drive home. Tears of joy glisten on my sun-washed cheeks. Anticipatory dread that it will be weeks before I see them again knots my stomach. A realtor and I have a date to meet when I go up to work in Burlingame mid September - just to look at possible areas to rent for a while before making any moving commitments.

Thus begins the clean-out and down-sizing saga we’ve long been talking about. It starts with laundry and emptying the purse of crackers and sand... so I know I’m home... or AM I?