Journey

Arriving at Amanda’s early, I sit in her garden, while she completes preparations. The oaks surrounding her Topanga hide-out rustle in the twilight breezes and scatter the last rays of the sun.

She beckons me in, and motions me to sit on the couch. She perches comfortably in her chair, and points to water in a purple plastic tumbler on the table in front of me. She asks me what I want to focus on for this Shamanic Journey-Work session. I know exactly what I want. 

1. To share the songs I’ve written so they can be of use. 
2. For my writing to be shared and to be of use. 
3. I want to coalesce any still fragmented pieces of my soul so I can complete the above jobs which I seem to have come into this life to do.
4. Find the best possible home for the next leg of our/my journey in the bay area.
5. Easy downsizing and easy move.

Amanda has me lie down on the couch, and explains that she will be moving around, using rattles and other instruments. I might hear a drumming tape. She might touch me, is that OK. Yes, of course.

She puts an eye shade over my eyes, explaining it can be deluxe as it is when she places it on my eyes... Kleenex first, bandana over that, and a flax-seed bag scented with lavender for the final layer, or pared down to only one or two layers. I ask for the deluxe. The weight and coolness feel soothing, and I sigh deeply, releasing the tension of driving the long, steep, and twisty roads to get here.

She does a simple “breathe into your heart” guided visualization with me. I am relaxing with every breath and see my heart like a circle picture of a cozy campfire... only about 3/4 of the vision is incomplete. About 1/4 is clear, and I can see the fire, a couple of chairs,and something cooking over the fire. Later the picture begins to come completely into focus… a satisfying gestalt. I tell her later it looks like one of the circle paintings on an old box of Celestial Seasonings Roastaroma Tea, circa 1972.

As she begins to whistle, chant, and whisk me with feathers, I smell sage burning. Pretty quickly, I see a huge lion’s face - big nose, mane and mouth, soft eyes. I know this guy. He’s long been a familiar to me. His smell is a comfort to me. His face morphs into the face of an old Indian man with a single braid.

Pretty soon, gray-green underwater canyons appear. The foliage of spiky leaves of gray- green morphs into other faces. Mostly the visions are in color, except for twice - this underwater gray-green underwater canyon scene with occasional faces in the foliage. I smell something sweet… lavender-like… but not quite.

One of the finishing touches is a refreshing sprinkling of water over my body from toes to crown. I stretch and feel HAPPY as I lift the eye shade, roll to my side, and sit up slowly. Blinking in the dim light, I reach for my notebook to jot some ideas and visions.

As I gulp down the water in the purple cup, Amanda tells me, “This was very clear. It’s good to work with some one who has done so much work already. There were three soul parts. Two came together, accompanied by a big lion who’s been their protector for a long time.” 

I get goose bumps of recognition. 

“As soon as he knew that’s why I was there, he turned over the two year old and the six year old. It was not difficult. As long as they were together... there was a deep bond with the lion and between the two girls - the older protecting the younger one. You’ve already done the work, Melinda, making the connection with them energetically...

“In the enforced promise of secrecy, was another soul part - stashed away.” Amanda continues, “I sensed that I met your father. He took me to where the other part was. He knew there were no more secrets. She was nine, ten, or maybe eleven years old.” 

Amanda got my older soul part, thanked Howard, and brought her back to one of HER (Amanda’s) teachers called “Gran’ma.” Gran’ma works with women. She put some healing salve all over me, wrapped me up, rocked me in her arms, then put me in a cave to rest. I rested a long time. When she came to get me, Gran’ma washed me and set me near the fire to warm up. (I think it was her sweetness I smelled during the journey.) While I was with Gran’ma, Amanda traveled to another spirit - a male who resides in a temple like building. Skeletons were dancing around a fire outside. They took off their head dresses. They were laughing and talking. There was a cleansing pool in front of the temple. In one room a wise elder receives people. He doesn’t usually do healing, per se. He is a teacher. He has me lie down and some kind of visions are being imparted to me by him. Amanda doesn’t know what they are; she cannot see them. I get up and go to a wall where the visions are… a visual representation of what he’s imparted to me. It’s not a soul part. But if I connect again with my heart space, she assures me, the visions are there. I have everything I need to know, Amanda emphasizes. I laugh with joy, until tears come. 

“You will make & tell stories. You will write. You will write more songs and sing them. When you move north, you’ll have time you don’t have now,” she tells me

I will have the time and energy to do what I need to do?

Amanda’s teacher tells her... “Tell her don’t worry. There are no blocks, no problems... just go do your work.  Songs... book...”

The final piece is this: A deer presents itself to Amanda. Mama deer and her fawn are my allies. They walk with me in my life. Journal with her.  Journey with her. 

Another of Amanda’s teachers washes me with water. This is what I feel at the end of the session - that refreshing sprinkling.

I lie still for a few minutes and get up and we share our experiences. I feel so happy. I am laughing and laughing... especially about the writing part. There are no blockages. There will be time in the new home to write. I won’t have the encumbrances I’ve created for myself here... too many commitments, too many tasks, too much energy expenditure. 

Amanda gives me a citrine crystalline rock formation. Calcium white with goldish orange crystals protruding from one end like a little island city floating in a white sea. To me, the crystals form a face. She says it’s a goddess stone. Before I leave for Oakland, I tuck it into a small hang-around-my-neck beaded pouch someone gave me years ago. The goddess seems happy there. I like wearing her close to my newly re-formed - reunited with my lost parts - HEART. Plus, the beaded pouch necklace is gold & black and goes well with my traveling outfit  as I head north to see my daughter, grandie, and meet with realtors at 4:00 to look at houses here. I’ve come for a week long workshop in Berkeley, and to house-hunt.

Nearly a week later, I still feel the difference of having my soul parts back. There’s a settled, at ease feeling, and much less... well... less of a sense of being fragmented and scattered. I FEEL coalesced... as if an afterimage has come into focus with my body. I feel like smiling just because I’m home.