I Hope You Dance

Sunday’s Family Reunion with a couple hundred people, most of whom I’d never met, is thrilling.

The Painted Turtle’s “Camp on the Move” at Hotel del Coronado’s Grand Ballroom, over looking the truly peaceful Pacific replaces a camp weekend that would have been held at the beautiful and familiar venue in Lake Hughes, California - had it not been for the Station Fire of June 2013 rendering the facility unusable until next year. Fifty six families from all over southern California - many local to San Diego - fill the ballroom this morning. Staff and volunteers round out the number to well over two hundred folks.

The program begins with carnival games around the perimeter of the gorgeous and enormous circular ballroom. The west-facing windows all look out on the ocean, the pool and the San Diego Coastline.

Built in 1888, this architectural gem is the oldest wooden-structure hotel still standing in the United States, and a grand old Lady she is - even if her floors creak and room 217 is “haunted.” Staffers from the hotel are so gracious, kind, and helpful as we pull together to make welcome these families, who have at least one child challenged by some life-threatening illness. 

"Corn Tossers" is my carnival game assignment. Two sorority sisters from San Diego State University and I staff it from 10:45, when the doors open, until lunch break at 12:30. Kids of all ages, sizes and abilities improvise lobbing the bean-filled cloth projectiles into the single hole in an angled piece of plywood on the floor. Two people can compete at one of three toe lines (blue painter’s tape) on the carpet.

Other games include similarly adaptable games - like “Whak-a Mole”, “Ping-Pong-Ball Races,” (using straws to blow the balls up hill in troughs), and “TP Toss”, which involves throwing (taped) rolls of toilet paper into mounted toilet seats - like basket ball! 

Two teens, using their joy sticks, drive their chairs right to the base of our Corn Toss slanted board. I hand each of them bags - four red for Leopold, and four green for Miley. Using all their concentration, available muscles and huge will, they plant a couple of bean-bags IN the hole. Very young ones, or those very short of stature, but huge on personality, also position their aim right over the hole to drop the bags directly into the target. We three retrievers are suddenly VERY busy, cheering, picking up and giving back the bags to throw again. I fear, that by Tuesday, we’ll have sore quads from the non-stop stooping and squatting for an hour and a half!

Any minor discomforts dissolve when we observe the impact of today’s family camp on these families. For some, it’s the normalizing that happens when they see other families with similar struggles. For others, it’s the safety of this container that allows parents to give their kids free reign to explore amidst so many “aunties” and “uncles” (counselors) who truly care about their kids that makes them melt.

At the end of lunch, there’s the familiar “Fun with Pun” - a combination magic show and chance for the spotlight to shine on my husband’s (Pun’s) helpers. He invites the ones least likely to be included in the daily flow of life to pull the plungers (magic wands) off his cheeks, or try to stretch a rope to make sure it’s not stretchable. The kids just glow with pride, and more than one adult is left with glistening eyes - either from laughing so hard or from the poignancy of a child finally having the spotlight of love and appreciation shining fully on his or her proud face.

The afternoon provides arts and crafts of many varieties - from face-painting, to making bird feeders out of popsicle sticks, to making secret messages with white crayons and painting over them with watercolor, to painting the inside of baby food jars with glow-in-the-dark paint for small lanterns.

For the last hour or so, after closing down the art stations, we have “Stage Day” which is an opportunity to tell a joke, sing a song or dance to a piece of music in front of this unconditionally loving audience. We’re led in “Yes, yes YES” cheers or a standing (or not) “Ooooooooooo Yah!”  by TPT staff members. Performances include a mom & daughter duet of Zippity Doo Dah, lip syncing or singing along to any number of pop tunes, a three year old spinning on one foot until she’s delightfully dizzy as her long braids whap her in the face and her brother raps a familiar (camp appropriate) rap song. 

The five tissue performance for me is a trio of teen dancers. Leopold introduces the song on mic from his motorized chair in his halting speech something like this: 

“The Painted Turtle Camp is all about doing the best you can with what you’ve got. I invite all of you to get up and dance with us.” 

A cheer arises from the crowd. 

Leopold scolds, “I think you can do better than that!” 

(Roar of laughter.)

“You volunteers and staff of the Painted Turtle have all worked so hard today, and for months before this day, to make it happen. The people here at Hotel del Coronado have welcomed us and worked for us all day. Thank you ALL so much for making it the best day ever!”

With that, he hands over the mic, the music starts, and Brittany pushes Matt’s wheel chair onto the floor -  her own gait hampered by her physical challenge - and the three of them dance with whatever moves to Lee Womak’s “I Hope You Dance.”

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you daaaaance

I hope you daaaaance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they’re worth takin’

Lovin’ might be a mistake, but it’s worth makin’

Don’t let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than a passing glance

And when you have the chance to sit it out or dance

I hope you daaaaaance

I hope you daaaaaance.*

For many of us, it’s hard to dance blinded by our tears. Leopold’s words, and the dance he, Brittany and Matt do is now etched on our hearts forever.

Written by Mark Daniel Sanders and Tia M. Sillers